30 Things I've learned in 30 years



I recently turned 30. The big kahuna, the three zero. I’m not sure yet how I feel about it. It’s a different feeling I will say that. I thought I’d try something to maybe get out of whatever this little funk is. So here goes. Thirty things I learned in my thirty years. 
 
1.       Find something you love- Find a hobby or something that you enjoy doing. Let yourself fully love it and when you don’t love it anymore its ok to set it down and find something new.
 
2.       Speak your mind – What you have to say is important. If you find something your passionate about speak about it. Do it kindly but you have the right to speak your mind.

3.       Pick your battles – Most of my battles for the last five years have been with my daughter but it’s a valuable lesson. Some things are worth the fight, if she wants to wear snow boot in the middle of July, sure go right ahead (dumb fight that won’t get you anywhere but with a screaming five-year-old or a five-year-old wearing boots and you defeated). But on the flip side, if it is something you feel you want to fight about don’t let anyone tell you not to.

4.       Wash your face before bed- I wish I would have followed more. For some reason now I look forward to washing my face at night and putting on my nighttime face stuff. It’s the perfect ending for the day.  Not to mention when your thirty your skin will thank you if you start early.

5.       Moisturizer is your best friend- Up until my last baby I didn’t have an issue with dry skin, but holy hanna did I have it. I’ve really started to love the way my skin feels when I consistently use moisturizer. For me it’s become therapeutic to put it on before bed. Then in the morning my face feels amazing.

6.       Work hard for what you want – Nothing is going to just be given to you. You have to work hard at it if its important to you. Example; in a relationship, thing don’t just happen, communication doesn’t just happen, you need to work at your relationship with that person if you want the relationship to go anywhere.

7.       Be kind – Plan and simple. You have no idea what someone is dealing with either on the inside or in their life. The lady getting flustered at the grocery store cause she’s running late, you don’t know what she came from, or where she’s going. The person behind you in the drive thru line could be scrapping the last few dollars of this paycheck. So, the best thing you can do is be kind to everyone, smile, say hi. You don’t know how much that may mean to someone.

8.       Your health is yours to take care of- You and only you knows your body the best. If you think something is wrong go see a professional, not google or webmd. Your doctor has the best intentions and will get you the care you need. On that note, speak up and talk to your doctor. They are there to help you, if you feel they aren’t hearing you speak up.  They can only do so much with the information you are giving them.

9.       Surround yourself with people that make you feel good- Toxic people are everywhere. If you feel drained after being with friends or family, that’s not a good sign. You don’t have to keep toxic people in your life for any reason. Yes, cutting people out of your life can be hard but you deserve it for yourself to have healthy relationships with people in your life. I always say you don’t have to let anyone in your life that isn’t benefiting you in any way.

10.   Set goals for yourself- I thrive off setting goals, do I make all of them no. But it gives me a drive to do something for myself. Even if the goal is to put makeup on every day, it’s something that’s for you and you only.

11.   Exercise- Maybe its just me, but I’ve found solitude in working out and staying active. I look forward to that time I set aside. I feel good after it, and hopefully I’m setting a good example to my girls to keep active. I didn’t really get into exercising till college and then it was hit and miss. After my first baby I did it to pass the time and I loved it, I pushed my body in ways I never thought I could.

12.   Learn something daily- I will be the first one to say I didn’t like school, but I love learning. I strive to learn one new thing daily. May it be reading an article about something you didn’t know about, diving deeper into a topic you enjoy or reading useless facts. Learning something new daily is good for you.

13.   Take responsibility for yourself and your life – It’s your life, don’t put your short comings on someone else. You have the power to change your life instead of wallowing in whatever you think is keeping you back. I’ve dealt with too many “adults” that act less mature then my 4-year old. Its not my job or anyone’s but yours to make your life better.

14.    Laugh as much as you cry – Life sucks sometimes so crying is completely necessary and is actually good for you, but you want to make sure you also see the funny in life. Even though something may not be funny at the time always be able to look back and laugh at yourself or the situation.

15.   A strong drink is always better than a weak one- This one is from the “party/bartender” days. No one likes a weak drink. My best advice is mix it the way you’d drink it, unless they’re an asshole.
  
16.   Crying in the shower is therapeutic- I do this on the regular, one that’s usually my only child free/quite time inside the house. Two sometimes there’s no reason behind it so explaining things aren’t needed. And let’s face it, you can ugly cry and no one will know. But really, I always feel the best after a good cry in the shower.

17.   Your life is on your own clock not someone else’s- This one is a big one. No matter how old you are your life is yours, don’t let someone ideas overstep yours. You don’t have to have kids by a certain age or at all, you don’t have to go to school just because mom or dad said. Find your path and live it the way you want. As long as you continue to push forward and do what you want and enjoy. You aren’t promised tomorrow so do what you love and really love it.

18.   Spend time with your loved ones- our time is limited, and for some we don’t know when it will end. Others there’s a long build up to their final moments. It doesn’t make it any easier. So while they’re here spend time with them, make memories, take pictures, really love them. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten more and more selfish with the time I spend with people. I’m extremally lucky to have had so many years with my grandparents in my life, that I now selfishly want my kids to remember time with their great-grandparents. Sadly, I know they are too young where they won’t have many, but I know they will have all the memories with their grandparents. 

19.   Read good books – Coming from someone who has about 10 books currently started, not because they aren’t good books but because they’re things I tend to read in different moods. Find an author you enjoy, a topic you thrive on, something, just read books that make you think and push our boundaries.
 
20.   Love deeply – Let yourself love, no matter how many times you’ve been hurt or you feel like someone’s going to break your heart, they will only break it if you let them. You are strong, pick the pieces up love yourself to truly love someone else. When that person comes along it’s ok to be guarded a bit, but let them prove they won’t hurt you by opening up to them. The more guarded you are the more likely they will hurt you because you didn’t trust them enough to open up.

21.   Your mom is mostly right if not all the time right – I will be the first one to say it. I didn’t always have the easiest relationship with my mom growing up. We butted heads a lot, you could say. But now my mom is one of my best friends. She has answered countless questions about momming and cooking and god knows what else. She been there when I just need “time with my mom”. Is it acceptable at 30 to still miss your mom sometimes…? Yes! I look forward to the times I’m able to connect with her.

22.   Being a mom is the hardest and most rewarding thing – I knew I always wanted to be a mom and dealing with miscarriages, an ectopic pregnancy, and the challenges of getting pregnant were some of the hardest things mentally I’ve had to go though.  Then you have this sweet little baby that relies on you 24/7, you feel this overwhelming love and guilt because your life now revolves around something more meaningful but yet you want to sleep, or shower, need just a minute to compose yourself. And you feel like everyone eyes are on you watching you fail this stage in life. But then this little baby smiles, giggles, nuzzles into you. They don’t care what you may feel, to them you are “home” and you will always be that for them.

23.   Marry your best friend- I feel like I lucked out. My husband and I were friends for seven years before we started dating. He was my sounding board for years as was I for him. We grew in a lot of ways through those seven years before the “right time” came for us. When it did, we both jumped head first. While times can get hard, he’s the only one I could do life with.

24.   Slow down- Stop trying to grow up and live the fast life. Where is it going to get you? Its not going to get you anywhere faster. So slow down and enjoy your time, really live. Have those 4-hour conversations with a friend. Call them just to check in, call your mom or grandma just to chat.

25.   Cherish the relationships you have- Treat the people you have in your life with respect. Nurture your relationship with them as they should with you. If you notice you’re shying away from a friend because they drain you express that to them. Try to make things better with them but at the same time don’t expect all friendships/relationships will last forever. Sadly, they don’t, but the real ones do.

26.   Love your body at all stages- Oh the struggles, over the last 5 years loving my body has been a constant restraint I’ve had to deal with. Through two full term pregnancy, to post-partum, and everything in-between I’ve learned no one gives a crap about your body except you. My husband will constantly tell me “I love your body” or “you’re perfect to me” I shrug it off with a “yeah ok” or “thanks” with an eye roll. Because to me my body isn’t where I want it to be yet. So I continue to push it to where I want it to be.

27.   It’s ok to ask for help – I will continue to work on this one. I’ve always been of the mind sit that I can do ANYTHING. That I don’t need anyone’s help. Well turns out sometimes I do need help. And its 10000% ok to ask for help, that person you ask for help from 9 times out of 10 will be glad to help.

28.    Learn staple recipes- I just recently started asking my mom how to make some of the meals I grew up on. A few years ago, my mom and I sat down with my grandma and put together a cookbook of all of her “famous” recipes. Learning the art of cooking isn’t necessary hard but always keeping a few favorite recipes in your back pocket are a good idea. You never know when you’ll have to throw something together for a house full of friends.

29.   Take baths- More or less take that time to relax and do nothing. The best thing about baths is being able to use salts or oils to help with sore muscles, sleeplessness, relaxation, or stress. They help detox the body and can help improve circulation.

30.   Hold on to memories- It’s so easy to let things fly by, and I think everyone is in the same boat when it come to thinking things will last longer then they will. But as of lately I realize as much as it seems the memories of something or someone will soon be the only thing you have of them. So, sit and look at old pictures, listen to the stories, ask questions you may want to know. Because someday that’s all you’ll have. 

There’s my list of 30 things I’ve learned. I hope some are things you can take away for your life. I’d love to know if you have anything you’d add. Life is different for everyone and I think what people take away from it are very personal. But connecting with other over common things better the world.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Oily Highlight - Valor -

Summer Time Blends